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Valerie Cote

I own and operate Valerie Sur Votre Cote and am having the time of my life !

Working very closely with my client’s family is what makes this work so rewarding to me !

It takes a special kind of person to work with Alzheimer / Dementia suffers and I feel that that is what I have been preparing myself for my entire life.

NOTHING gives me more pleasure then when I see that little glimmer, however brief in my charges’ eyes the one that says ‘ you heard me, you understand ! ‘.

Working with senior citizens has provided me with an opportunity to help others, what better way to live my life knowing that somebody’s day is just a little bit brighter !

M. Jean Paul Alarie – his journey

It is never easy saying goodbye to someone I’m assisting, with Jean Paul Alaire it was no different. 

In the elder care business it is especially challenging to assist my partner with the next phase of the letting go process, which life is.  I usually care for my clients until the last breath but, this case was different. 

Life is like that, changes are guaranteed.

 With the permission of his lovely family I will include here a letter of reference written after his move into a semi-independent assisted living facility much closer to Lise, his much loved daughter.  Now she can visit him many times during the week, as she walks with him on his phase of his sacred journey.

They have always been very close but prior to him joining her in Granby, it was very difficult to assist him, the way she wanted to because of the distance involved as he lived in Laval.

He has always lived independently in the home he shared with his wife and the two children who were born in that house too.  It held all of his memories, it was where his heart was and in many ways still is.  It was sold in August 2025, a challenging time for both him and his family.

Those last years we managed to get some assistance from the CLSC and La Bouffe roulant whom provided him with meals twice a day that last year and he also had two staff members to distribute his pills on the days I was not with him.  As his appetite diminished we knew his days of independance was coming to an end, never easy to accept but we helped him along the way. 

Prior to that last fall he had, we did all the things he loved to do, going to his favorite place to eat every Thursday for two years. He actually celebrated his 96th birthday day there with all of his family and of couse the staff that grew to love his visits.  He actually would order the ‘JP Special’, which all the staff knew of his favorite foods option, One cheese burger, hold the sauce, one coffee with one Splenda and of course the fries.  He loved Thursdays at DicAnn’s. He also loved to go to the dollar store and shopping at Maxi’s for his favorite ice cream but mostly he loved working in his garden.  It was very difficult convincing him that he needed assistance in the end with garden chores, private lawn services were hired, but still he worked in the garden, he loves yard work.  We took our time and waited until he himself realized that another fall in the garden could be disastrous, well that terrible day came in May 2025 and that is here we are today.

I grew to love M. Alarie, what a character he was and still is !

It took a few weeks to integrate, but he is tolerating it well inspite of his new surroundings however, he sleeps most of the day. He no longer takes his long walks, preferring to stay in his new bachelor apartment. He had another fall over the weekend however, he seems usually to be able bounce back pretty quickly from in the past but is now a challenge. We are now noticing however the toll the more frequent falls is having on him. 

It is not easy when our bodies stop performing to the degree we are used to especially as we also loose our cognitive funchtioning..  As a younger man he played golf ( a lot ), swam and rode his bike in local races, he even has some awards from the Laval Biking Association. A true athlete his entire life, and it showed by his incredible ability to keep his footing, most days. But that last fall made it clear there needed to be a change a more permenante change.

The sun dips low, a gentle sigh, the world grows hushed, as shadows fly.  No need to strive, no need to fear, a peaful journey, drawing near.  Let go the anchor, set the sail, to shores unseen, where shadows pale.  Your love remains, a guidng light in this soft sending, pure and right.










Madame, Monsieur,





Lise and Pierre’s letter of reference is below :





C’est avec plaisir que nous vous recommandons Madame Valerie Cote, pour accompagnement auprès d’un ou d’une aine.





Nous avons engagé Madame Cote afin qu’elle puise offrir de son temps auprès de notre père Age de 95 jusqu’à ses 97 ans.





Beaucoup d’heures passées auprès de notre père, à faire de petites sorties au restaurant, commissions et quelque taches ménagères.





Mais surtout beaucoup de dialogue, d’échanges et de confiance qui s’est instauré entre eux.





C’est avec un grand dévouement et une grand écoute que Madame Cote prenait soin to de notre père et toujours avec le souci de son confort et de sa sécurité.





Nous avons que de bons mots envers Mme Cote.





Sincèrement Lise and Pierre Alaire





Lise Alarie :





lisealariedeco@gmail.com





et





Pierre Alarie





Pierrealarie7@gmail.com






	


	



			
				


			
				


			
				


			
				


			

			
Let’s create !
		
	
	

		

Inspiring someone to create doesn’t have to be complicated, sometimes it’s simply a matter of taking what you have at hand and a little encouragement.





A wonderfully simple way of empowering people in general. 





I use art when I sense that it might help us become better friends while letting the healing power of creating express itself. Coming back to our creations help ‘fix’ us in time, the result is not important, its in the doing of the thing that the magic happens.





Marcel B., August 2022










	


	



			
				


			

			
The Power of Music
		
	
	

		

Oop Ferlatine !





I use music every chance I get  !  





Most of the people I work with have a standard response when I introduce music into the routine initially and it is ” I love music, but I’m not very good “.   





When words fail, music !





I understand that statement all too well, before I learned how to create music I knew nothing and believed I could never make any sound that would appeal to anybody !  Period, end of sentence.





Then I picked up the guitar and everything changed !





The year before he passed I needed to find a way to connect, as we had not been very close for many years.  One day, I saw my grandmothers old guitar in the corner of his closet behind some dusty jackets and took it out, hoping that he wouldn’t mind too much.  I think he may have even forgotten that it was there by the look on his face !  I told him that I always wanted to learn how to play and asked him if he could teach me a chord or two.  To his delight and mine, we spent many an hour that last year, enjoying each others company and making music together !  It was something we turned to often that last year.





At the end of his life, I learned that when he was in pain and unable to speak, that hearing me play a tune his mother taught him, helped him relax.  I was actually playing that tune when he took his last breathe.





Since that fateful day, I’ve added many instruments to my collection !  





I have not yet failed to inspire those I work with to join with me in some way, either through song or instrument.  If you click above the photo above you will hear Marcel, a new good friend of mine singing a song from his youth, as he remembered it, on one of our ‘sessions’ !  





Enjoy !

	


	



			
				


			

			
What does ‘stage’ mean anyway?
		
	
	

		

There are as many stages as there are shapes of daisies !






Sometimes people ask me “how do I know what stage my Mom is in?”  Its a good question but, does it really matter ?  Can she still connect with you as she always has, is that love you share still felt when she is communicating with you and other loved ones ?





Its always best to find the right people to help you help your loved one as soon as the diagnosis has been confirmed or even better, when you first notice that things are not the same any more and your loved one needs a little help with some things around the house.





Having a care giver in the mix earlier will go a long way in terms of forming a trusting relationship.  Even if it is just a few hours a week in the beginning, that time together will be the building blocks for a relationship that will last a lifetime.   Building that bond earlier will enable your loved one to use that relationship to express,  whatever your loved one doesn’t feel comfortable burdening you with.  





Losing your ability to care for yourself is humbling, sometimes some can feel embarrassed or even worse, ashamed.  Many can feel as if  ‘Its my fault that I don’t remember…’, as if they caused this disease and are responsible for causing everybody in their lives so much trouble.  Having a personal advocate, one they can trust to support them as their journey unfolds is crucial during the later stages, when anxiety can plaque sufferers from Alzheimer or Dementia making everything even more difficult for them.





Having anxiety on a daily basis, is like an invisible force that makes every task that much more difficult to complete.  Learning how to intentionally relax is a skill that can be developed in the earlier stages, ensuring a less traumatic experience for your loved one in the future.  





If you have any questions regarding your loved one and your journey together, please drop me a line.  I would be happy to address any concerns you may have or simply just listen, sometimes that’s enough.





Blessings !